Mentally "Stable"

Why is it considered so shameful to admit to having a mental disorder? Why is seeing a therapist something people have to hide so that others won't judge them and call them crazy? Why is it that taking medication in order to live a normal life is somehow taboo in our society?

I have multiple close friends who struggle with these things: Bipolar. Depression. OCD. PTSD. Anxiety disorders. Other very serious conditions as well. And they don't feel like they can just TALK about it. They have to hide it away, like some dirty little secret. But why? Why do we judge people, when we've never been in their shoes?

You know what? I see a therapist to help me deal with my chronic depression and PTSD. I'm not ashamed to admit that I need help, and i'm getting it. FINALLY. I went years without seeking help for it. Years of insomnia, apathy, chronic mood swings, flashbacks, and living in constant fear.

And you know what? I am so HAPPY i'm finally doing this for myself. I'm getting better. I'm going to be FREE. And it's going to be AMAZING! :D

We are works of art!

Expert stonemasons, or stone sculptors, know exactly where to hit a stone. They know exactly how much pressure to apply to make the stone break or chip the way they want it to. They take off all of the pieces that don't belong, until they reach the final piece hiding inside of a bigger block of stone.

God does the same with us. He takes pieces off of us. Sometimes in large chunks, sometimes in tiny chips, until we reach just the right size and shape. Trials and tribulations are the hammer and chisel with which God shapes us.

We can either choose to resist his final plans for us, and come out as a deformed and worthless lump of rock... or we can work with him, and watch as his guiding hands shape us into the men and women we were meant to become.

To Repent and Forgive

What does it mean to repent? It means acknowledging that what you did was wrong. That you wish you could take it back, or change what happened.

What if you have done something you feel is so horrible, so bad, that people will hate you if they knew? Is it someone who truly loves you? Are you sure of how they will react? Sometimes we don't give people enough credit. Sometimes people will surprise us with how loving and accepting, even FORGIVING they can be.

My biggest weakness, that I have trouble forgiving people for, is lying to me. I would rather find out that you have just killed someone, than wait years to find out you stole something or kicked a puppy. I don't care what it was that you did wrong. I care when you hide it from me, or don't tell me the whole truth.

How can I fix what I did? Well for me, I try to ask forgiveness of the person. Maybe just ask them to do their best to forgive you, and acknowledge to them that it takes time. Come clean with the person. Tell them everything. They WILL forgive you. If they don't, they are themselves sinning. It WILL take time. Just keep trying to build the trust again.

Go talk to the people in your life. Tell them the truth. Ask for their love and support. They are better people than you may think!

Gems of Truth

I envision our search for knowledge and truth like this:

You are casting about in the dark, using a torch to seek out precious shining gems of truth. Upon finding them you gleefully run back to your little room where the walls are covered with gemstones, already gleaming on every side. You lift up the torch, feverishly searching the walls, pondering a place to store your newest treasure. Finally you see just the right spot, high up on the wall, and stick the stone into the slot. The gem fits perfectly, and shimmers prettily in its new home.

You sit back for a second, peacefully admiring all of those lovely gems you have gathered. But there are many empty spaces remaining, waiting to be filled. You turn back, determined to find the rest, and begin your hunt anew. Finally one day, the last gem is discovered; the last slot is filled. You sit and admire your handiwork, taking comfort in the knowledge that you have learned everything there is to know; filled up every space. Then you see a light approaching, brighter than your own, and another person enters your sanctuary.

They carry with them another rock, unlike any you have ever seen before. They offer it to you, smiling, and you stare at it in shock. There is no space left to put it into your walls. They are completely filled, and now you have a gem whose value is obvious, but you have nowhere to keep it. Baffled, you turn to your new mentor unsure of what to do. They smile, lifting their light higher and pointing upwards. Above the highest point on your wall, you spy even more empty slots that you had never seen before. The new stone fits easily, and there are many more places to be filled.

You glance back at your mentor in despair, but they just pat you on the shoulder and touch their torch to your own. Yours flares brighter, and then your mentor departs. You are left alone with all of your gems, and a lot of work left to be done. Setting your face into a determined but pleasant smile, you head off into the world to find more gems of truth to store up for yourself until the second coming.

Tapestry

Okay, here’s how I see it, refute as you will.

God is watching over us, this world of ours sitting before him, with time running by as a giant tapestry. He has many different colored threads representing the people of various calibers who could fulfill each completely necessary role within the sphere of history. He also knows to what level he can rely upon these people to use their agency in the way he needs them to, for them to be at specific fixed points in time that HAVE to happen to make the plan work. At time he puts challenges in their way or takes someone out of their life to influence them toward specific points, but he cannot MAKE them choose anything. He’s gently coaxing along events that need to happen, without being able to directly change them through the people themselves, because of their agency.

So he sets up situations, trials, etc. and uses their own personality and normal reactions to guide them toward that point. They can still CHOOSE to walk away from it completely, but the majority of the time they make the right set of choices to fulfill the biggest blessings set out in their P.B.

However those who don’t follow the prescriptions: scripture study, prayer, faithfulness… will not receive the blessings laid out, because they didn’t strive for them.

My own patriarchal blessing is so full of things I can barely even accept the scope of that it’s daunting, to say the least. But it’s exciting too, as I continue living as a disciple of Christ, to see where I could end up…